Prepping for Delivery

Prepping for Delivery as my best friend is about to become a mommy in under 3 short months! 

As I was preparing the shower for Gen and baby Lucy, I thought about advice I could give her. Now, to be fair, I have had 2 c-sections, so vaginal birth isn't my forte (although I have heard some women poop as they push the baby out). :)

1) A few items To-Do before labor...Go out to eat as a couple one last time, get a nice pedicure (because you will be staring at your feet in the hospital bed for at least 3 days), and clean the house once over before you leave, so you don't have a mess when you come home from the hospital!

2) Pack essentials, leave the rest at home, and bring empty bags to stock up. I'm serious. Don't bring but 1-2 pairs of underwear because the hospital has some and you don't want yours to get dirty. Bring a few pairs of clothes (tank tops, loose shirts, and loose pants), comfy socks. Cell phones and chargers, camera, baby book, tooth brush, tooth paste (and make-up if you want), hair brush. Your nursing pillow, and it may help to bring your own pump just in case all of the hospital pumps are checked out and you need some help. Baby's going home outfit and any bow you want her to wear. And that's all... The hospital has all the diapers you need, the formula and nipples if needed. Now, bring 2-3 extra bags for diapers, birth clothes, toiletries, formula from the hospital. Even if you don't use it - ask for an extra case of formula. If you need to supplement you won't need to buy it right away, and if you don't use it..gift it to another momma!

3) Be sure to ask for a breast pump kit. And even if you don't need it, ask to see the lactation nurse. She will give you lots of free tips. It's her job to help you in the hospital (you pay for it in your hospital bill)...if you don't talk with her now and have questions later, it will cost you additional money. So why not use this tool while you have it in the hospital.

4) The lactation nurse will tell you breastfeeding isn't supposed to hurt..Well it will for a few days..Think about it..our boobs aren't used to having someone pull at them every 3 hours..so yes, they will hurt. There were days when I dreaded having Gemma latch on... for the first two weeks it hurt for the first 5-10 minutes of her breast feeding, then calmed down..and then after those first two weeks, we were good to go.

5) You will bleed for days, and days, after delivery. It's kind of like your period making it up to you for the past 9 months. The hospital will give you lovely pads to wear in your provided knitted underwear. Some bleeding lasts a week, others last 5 weeks...Some bleeding slows down and then gets heavy again, some stays heavy the entire time. It's lovely, really. *Side note - The hospital does provide a squirt bottle for easier cleaning. This may become one of your favorite tools!

6) Don't be afraid to let it all out. Seriously. If you thought your doctor seeing your down there was fun...Your who-ha becomes the talk of the hospital..Doctors, nurses (they change shifts twice), etc. Nurses have to check for dilation, they pinch you with pliers after your epidural, they clean you...and then husbands take over the nurses role selflessly when you are too sore to do it. I think one of the most humbling things is to be in pain, having your husband help you wipe and clean "down there" because you can't bend over or move. 

7) Be clear about visitors. If you only want close friends and family state that. If you want to say "I'll let you know when I want visitors" be firm about when people can come. You don't need your former boss or old students' families coming to visit you when you're not feeling 100% yourself.

8) Utilize the nursery - primarily at night time. While we kept all of our girls with us during the day, we specifically asked the nurses to take them during the night. It is a HUGE adjustment. The baby's nurse will bring her to you (ever 2-3 hours) when she needs to feed at night time. So that alone will make you tired, rest up during those 2 hours you don't have her. Trust me, you will have plenty of cuddle times and sleepless nights when you wish you could send the baby to the nursery to have someone just be with her.

9) You get a nurse and the baby gets a nurse. The only one who doesn't get a nurse is the hubby, unless he feels faint - like Brian did during Gemma's delivery...but you have a great team surrounding you throughout the birth and post-delivery.

10) Order one last meal before the cafe closes for the night. This will help you during your late night feedings where you want something to munch on (breastfeeding makes you a ravenous beast). If you don't order something the most your nurse can get you is an icee or water..so order from the cafe before they close! And again, your meals are included in your hospital stay!  

11) The Witching Hour. Every baby gets it. Really. It's a time when they just cry for no reason, nothing helps, you think its gas but you've done everything your little heart can to try and get the gas out. You've made sure they're clean, they're fed, they're swaddled..and Nothing works. Honestly, it's the most trying time in Brian and I's marriage. Normally this happens between month 1 and month 2. For the twins it was between 1 am and 2 am..which made it VERY hard on Brian and I - since he was working. For Gemma it was more between 10 pm - 11 pm. During the Witching Hour, we discovered Allison loved the repetition of our voices (repeating the same 3 phrases to her), Emily loved to just swing, and Gemma loved to take a shower (we eventually just put the sound of the shower running on our phones and let her rest). 

12) Swaddling is not the end all be all. Some babies will kick out of it by week 1 and just prefer to be free. We swaddled all of our girls for maybe the first week or two after the hospital...after that they just wanted to be covered gently.

13) This will be the hardest moments in your marriage, but also some of the greatest moments. When I look back at the witching hour times, or when I just needed a moment not be "needed" by someone or something and I lashed out at Brian, it was rough. Trust me. To the point where we had newborn twins and I was screaming at him that I could handle this myself and to sign the papers, we're done. It was ugly. But I look back and think about the way Brian holds the girls, how he adores them and they adore him..It is all worth it. And to know that your husband and you made this Godly creation...wow. So yes, your marriage will have ugly moments, but forgive and remember that this moment in Lucy's life will only last a little while.

14) Lucy is adjusting to the world all while you are adjusting to her. She doesn't know what to do. She doesn't understand night, day, pooping, peeing...She knows she's hungry, she's wet, she wants love. Whatever you're doing at that moment is the RIGHT thing. She knows YOU as much as you know yourself. She has felt your tension for the past 9 months, she felt your excitement for the past 9 months...she also knows your voice the best (because she's heard it the most). So as long as she's around you she's going to feel safe, secure, and loved.

Lastly, 15) Utilize the team around you. I promise you there are people who would give the world to help you. They start with Erik, your mom and brother, and me! So seriously, ask us for anything. If you need an hour to sleep, we can be there. House cleaning (we may not do it as good as you, but we surely can try our best!), anything! Your hormones are still going to be haywire for a few weeks, but us women understand that (and the men will get over it quickly). 

So Gen, enjoy these last few months being Erik and you. I love you and I am over the moon excited to welcome Lucy into the world!